True longevity is a by-product

Longevity of a relationship… should not be the focus, but should come as a by-product of both parties enjoying the relationship.
What is longevity [quantity] without enjoyment [quality]?
A relationship exists in so far as romantic attraction persists.
Without it, the romantic relationship has passed on to something else, such as platonic friendship [in which you have friendship [...]

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Forever

I was reading King Solomon’s declaration, after he built God’s temple…
“I have indeed built a magnificent temple for you, a place for you to dwell forever.”
- Solomon, in 1 Kings 8:12 [The Holy Bible], emphasis not in original.
And my mind lingered on it for a while…
If King Solomon, a mere human being, dared offer a [...]

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Rings, proposal & marriage

Yesterday, Kai gave a surprise with couple rings past midnight. After “colluding” with WW, the two of them totally had me taken in with talk of working late and collection of rock concert tickets. So the first ring was called “attached” ring; the current one is called “pre-engagement” ring.
I was having a short chat with [...]

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Consciousness

Where your consciousness is, there you live also.
In a day, there are so many things you can allow your mind to dwell on.

If you are wondering if someone is suffering, you wander and wonder.
“If she okay?”
“What if she is not okay?”
“If i call her, would she slam the phone on me?”
“If i don’t call her, [...]

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Tug of War

In the past week, i was faced with a tug of war. Sometimes i feel like i am trying to cater to this few people who need me. And it frustrates me when both parties demand for my presence at the same time.
Where is the balance?
On that Tuesday, a sudden call from my Mum [...]

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Abortion- the right of the “father” to know?

I finally caught Sex and the City season 4, under Kai’s recommendations.
In one of their episodes, Miranda had a “mercy fuck” with her ex, Steve, who was feeling extra undesirable because he lost one of his balls from testicular cancer. From this one-off union, Miranda became pregnant and she was contemplating an abortion. At this [...]

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Misfits

Reading a cross-fire exchange on Sayoni set me on a train of thoughts… She was not the first i know who was perceived as a misfit.
No matter who you are, there are bound to be groups in which you can mingle in and groups which you cannot. Every group has a distinct set of defining [...]

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The mark of a great supervisor

I finally figured out why i was so traumatized by the two lecturers i met yesterday. They entered the university within the last 2 years and i was never acquainted with them in any class. They have never seen me either. I met them one after another consecutively, within an hour, under recommendation from my [...]

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The resources to be “good”

From the Film Fest “Shelter”, Mara said something to Anna that stuck in my mind.
Mara told Anna that Anna could be “good” because she had the resources to be.
And i thought: that’s true.
In the financial aspect: When you have, you can give. When you don’t, you can’t. Even if you hang out with friends for [...]

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Pet names and assurance prompting

This time round, studypal [YX] and I appeared at TCC Bugis [the one facing the road]. And her gf JZ popped by with friend G after a good shopping time. Their affectionate pet names are really amusing: YX calls JZ “贱人”, which means “cheap-person” and JZ said she sometimes call YX “笨笨”, which means “stupid-stupid”. [...]

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Helping is not an obligation

Recently, the family business of a friend fell into financial trouble and she was in need of several thousand dollars. I knew her when she was in Singapore and she has since returned to Malaysia to take over the operations from her ailing mother. In her mid-twenties, she shouldered this business in which her entire [...]

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Belching at Infidelity

I caught the movie “Unfaithful” on DVD yesterday.
Very quickly, the storyline goes like this:
A happily married-for-11-years middle-aged couple, Connie/Constance Sumner and Edward Sumner, had a 8 year old son, a dog and a house in the suburbs. Connie was a housewife, going about her mundane affairs and “wifely duties”. One violently windy day in the [...]

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Acceptance- Multi-layers; multi-levels

“Anj, have you experienced acceptance with respect to your sexuality?”
Before i answer that question, i have to explain what i understand of the term “acceptance”. To me, acceptance is multi-leveled and multi-layered- proximity and depth.
The levels:
1. Society
2. Work Sphere [E.g. Colleagues]
3. Extended Social Sphere [E.g. Acquaintances]
4. Immediate Social Sphere [E.g. Close friends]
5. External Family
6. Immediate [...]

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Anj- burnt out “counselor”

I stepped into the house today and i listened to… more complaints.
For the past few weeks, i have been swamped with… complaints. Situations that remain unchanged, that either couldn’t be changed within days or takes effort to change.
She told me i should keep her company during nights and weekends because loneliness preys on her… repeatedly.
She [...]

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The Right to Whine

How many of us ever sat and listened to someone whine about something we think she/he shouldn’t be whining about? “Oh come on, you are much better than so many people out there!”
It’s like having a fellow school mate who is gunning for first-class honors, telling someone whose grades are stuck in second-lower class [...]

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