I read ‘The Little Prince’ again.
Many parts of it made me laugh. They made a mockery of self-important people. Such as people who need to retain a sense of control. How so many people reason in a circular manner. It makes no sense at all… yet they thought they made plenty of sense.
Then it came to the bit about the little prince and his love affair with the vain rose. He thought she was beautiful and unique (because in his tiny planet, she was the only flower). When he later traveled to earth in a fit (the rose was emotionally manipulative and wasn’t clever enough to pull it off), he discovered thousands of roses and he was disappointed. After all, it’s owning something unique that elevates your *princely* status, isn’t it?
The wise old fox later taught the little prince that his rose is important and unique not because there is only one of her. But because of all the time he wasted on her… watering her, removing caterpillars from her leaves, sheltering her from the cold etc. And since he has ‘tamed’ her (which i read as developing a relationship with her), he is now forever responsible for her. Of such paramount importance was that responsibility, he seek to return to his planet quickly, discarding his body in the process.
Maybe you think the prince having a little rose all to himself is the most romantic thing in the world.
… But it isn’t.
The little prince loves the rose because she happened to come along. The rest of the roses were out of reach (unattainable). It wasn’t anything about her that made him love her. It was the idea of sunk cost. How romantic is that? The taming of the fox follows the same logic. Spending time, developing longing, fulfilling longing, creating memories… which all boils down to spending time. There it is – sunk cost.
I buy the theory – with objects.
When i work on an art piece and give it away, it’s my time and effort that make the gift special. Not because my workmanship is so superb (i do correct mistakes whenever i spot them, but you never know if i missed any).
I don’t buy the theory with people.
This story contradicts my fundamental belief that every person is unique. Whoever i love(d) is unique. I will never find any other same person in the world and beyond. And i am unique. You will never find any other me ever. Each person’s uniqueness made that period of together time special. Therefore, i ain’t no prince’s rose.
And because each person is unique, there is nothing to regret… no matter what bad times there may be. (Yes, i know there are exceptions… but generally, this is true.) The little prince story brought out this last bit of my belief. That memories are a gain from having a relationship. They make the mundane things beautiful.
But i am grappling with the idea that the tamer (wittingly or not) is responsible for the tamed. What if someone happen to appear routinely somewhere because of some other matter and foxES are tamed? What if someone happen to care about plants in general and therefore watered all the roses along the way whenever possible? (*The foxes and roses being unique over here!)
It’s always tender when people give their hearts. Because a heart that truly yearns for you is a fragile one. It’s also an honor when people give you their hearts. Therefore, always tend to such situations with extra care. Nevertheless, the question needs to be answered: just how far does that responsibility go?
Hmm.. Your last question reminds me of a parent-child relationship and got me to rethink the whole post through such a relationship.
No answers though. =)
Happy lunar new year ahead of time to you and your family too!
Why does it remind you of parent-child relationships?
I guess my assumption was that children usually yearns for their parents love and protection. Maybe it’s something to do with their tender age or their inability to protect themselves.
But like you asked, how far do the parents’ responsibilities go.
And it made me rethink the point about objectifying a person. Perhaps the parents love the children because of the sunk cost? The 10 months of pregnancy, the amount of money spent on food, clothings, education, etc. The time and effort to make that “gift” special.
I realized I didn’t answer your question on “why” does it remind me of that. Err. Probably ’cause I’ve been thinking about the dynamics within my own family. So I subconsciously link everything back. =)
You might just be right.
I was traveling out of the country with my family and it so happened that i couldn’t find my ticket. So i told them that they should go ahead and i will catch the next one home (which would mean staying overnight). My sister asked me in jest, “Do you think they are going to let you do that? You are very expensive you know?”