Having fixed roles for interactions between guys and gals got me into trouble a number of times. As a result of being gay, i don’t approach guys with the idea that they might think i like them. So i chat them up when i am curious about stuff [and i am frequently curious].
My girlfriend told me that i have made some guy uncomfortable… just because i asked him where he was studying, why he was working there, what he usually does at work etc. If you keep passing money to the same person, asking the same person about products available, clarifying availability of slots… wouldn’t you want to know his name? And wouldn’t it be nice to know a little bit more than just a face and a name? Anyway, she attempted to “save” him by giving him reason to flee to his work station. *yawns* Straight people don’t give two hoots about the people around them unless they are interested in getting into their pants? That’s a little hard to fathom. I am friendly. Tough to have platonic friendship with guys when they are so easily startled, isn’t it.
Straight girls make nice friends too. However, their conversational topics revolve around HDB flats, their husbands/boyfriends, children and office politics. These topics are captivating for only so long. I have heard enough “horror kids” stories, husband/boyfriend woes etc. I am aware that there are cooler straight people who live more exciting lives… i just haven’t met that many. On top of that, you need to “click”! One of the best places to make straight girl friends come from common activities. Then again, if it’s activity-based, you wouldn’t know if the friendship is genuine. For most people, the friendship disappears when the glue of common activities dries up. Such friendships are more companion-like in nature… good to have, but not sufficient to make good friends.
This brings me to the next thing: making friends in the community. My lamb asked me why my friends are predominantly gay. The reason is simple: because we have lots to talk about. And no, it’s not about girls. When two gay persons meet, you have the following grand topic immediately: Coming out to self, others and associated difficulties.You don’t need a niche hobby or other specialized interests to click. The perfect conversational topic is readily available. Also, given its sensitivity, such disclosure facilitates bonding effortlessly. However, exposure to gay guys have been little. Probably because the groups i participate in are typically female-centric. How to make more nice gay guy friends?
