A sex-issue (indirectly)
May 8, 2007 by Anj
After a good chat with friends over the past fortnight, i came to this conclusion:
Women will never say that it’s a sex issue.
Most women anyway or else it is said with great reluctance. Because proper girls are supposedly asexual. Sex is a bonding affair for good girls, never meant to be physically gratifying. Only bad girls like sex.
Ya right. *spit*
However, this is so deeply ingrained in most of us, we don’t even know it consciously. It has an insidious effect… identified only by those who could remove their “moral” glasses.
If your darling girlfriend has a sexual frequency of say 2 times a week but romps per week have been at number one or less, you may find the following symptoms:
1. Out-of-the-blue accusations that you don’t care about her.
2. Doubts about compatibility and the longevity of the relationship.
3. Mountains spun out of molehills.
Don’t bother asking her if it’s all about sex.
The answer is likely a “NO!”, followed by angry words of indignation.
[Far and few in between are the girls who tell you in your face- i need sex and we ain’t having enough of it!]
Save your skin, be alive.
You may argue, “I am dead-tired!”
But understanding the situation does not mean that there would be no frustration. It reduces the level of frustration (she knows alternative explanations like adultery are out) but does not eliminate it.
Yes, i understand you are busy… but my sexual need remains unfulfilled.
It’s like understanding why there’s a famine in the land (e.g. no rain, crops died) and remaining hungry. Makes sense, doesn’t it?
So something more permanent has to be done. When there is an avalanche of things coming your way, it just leaves you with less to come up with a lasting solution. It’s easier to say what to do, harder to put these into action. Even harder when the actual issue is veiled behind seemingly irrelevant things.
For then you find yourself avoiding things that may lead to sex…
One girl told me she had to lie about her monthly period to avoid sex. Apparently her frisky partner has a real tall ceiling on the amount of sex she would like to have per day. Another pretends to be real engrossed in the television programme, so that cuddling sessions do not progress into sex. This leads her partner into accusations like “we are not spending quality cuddle-time!” and the inevitable line of thought that progresses from this “you don’t care enough about me…” and then “is this relationship meant to be?”
It’s a murky chain-reaction that doesn’t seem to end. And things get murkier and murkier although the reason is bright and clear in your mind.
So, what’s a girl to do?
